LMAO

What is this bullshit?! No, really. What is it?

I don't even think I've got the energy to go into all the reasons this would be the WORST move in history. But I'll do it anyway. Hey, someone might read this, see I make sense and stop writing this crap every two weeks.

• Dahveed Veeyah has said time and time again, he wants to stay in Spain. I know us Liverpool fans like to think we're in Spain because of our large Spanish contingent, but I promise you, Liverpool is in England. Therefore outside his requested zone and making this transfer highly unlikely.
• The stingy American bastards that currently own Liverpool giving up €49 mil for a striker who is currently at his peak and probably won't play at this level for more than 2/3 years after this...yeah, not happening. Actually, the likelihood of them giving up €49mil for anybody is pretty damn low.
• Veeyah and Torres can't play together on a regular basis. They're both strikers that play better when they're up front alone, so playing together, one of the two would have to play off the main striker. And that's kind of Steven Gerrard's current position. While he's versatile enough to play wherever the manager tells him, just off the striker is probably his best position.
• Neither Veeyah or Torres would be happy with being a benchwarmer, so alternating them would kind of fail. If you have unhappy strikers, they don't perform and it would kind of be a waste of a total of €70mil or however much the two of them added up to.
  
• The EPL is so far from Veeyah's style of football, it's unreal. There's no way he'd be as successful as everybody thinks he'd be if he were to move to Liverpool. He does well in La Liga because he can play his way without getting seven shades of shit kicked out of him because he's too good and they can't handle him.
• Liverpool may well be able to afford buying him, but realistically, they're not going to keep up his wages etc for however long his contract would be. And you'd better believe that if he stops performing, they're not going to want to be paying him obscene amounts of money each week.
• Veeyah has signed with Valencia until 2014. And his buyout clause is some crazy shit. Liverpool cannot pay that. Nobody can. Except maybe Man City or Real Madrid, who can seemingly pay anything.
• And on top of all this, Veeyah has been leaving Valencia for the past 4 transfer windows at least if we're to believe what newspaper reports tell us. He's still there. That kind of says more than I could. End of discussion, case closed.
  

Now please, can we stop with the lolz? As much as I appreciate you people writing articles that make me giggle, it gets kind of old when you hear it week in, week out.