All hail the idiot football fans...

The gems of wisdom are right this way...

"villa said the only club he wil join in england iz LIVERPOOL. . .i think he should wait till the end of the season,n rafa might have the cash to sign hm with prince faisal arriving. Voronin can be added to the deal. :)"

Erm, I don't want Voronin, thanks. And that is so not a fair exchange. Plus, Liverpool can't afford Veeyah's weaker foot, never mind the complete package...

"Ferguson is forever smart. this is the ONLY perfect time to buy Villa. because the rest of the clubs have enough of scoring powers. who else is gonna buy Villa if you say Valencia are eager to sell now? That is exactly why the price is so low, but we can't trust this figure yet because it is most likely not right. but i'd say valencia won't be willing to sell Silva."

Valencia aren't willing to sell either, idiot. They just might not have a choice. Though if they do, you can bet your ass on the fact it won't be for a measly £40mil.

"seems that so many people don't understand the word 'cash strapped' and 'need to sell' they're like 'they're worth bla bla bla'.. well whatever theyr'e worth, they're at a disadvantage now, and only MANU have the resources to purchase them, since madrid is already mounted with debts.. hehehe.. now THATS my fergie"

Seems like THIS idiot doesn't understand that Valencia may be cash strapped and need to sell, but they're not going to let their two biggest stars go for a pathetic amount of money. They're cash strapped, not mentally retarded.

"i think the players realise they have gone the distance with Valencia and the club itself really needs to cash in and strengthen thier squad - its a shame tho"

Er, that would be why both have pledged their future to Valencia is it? You don't sign an extension to a contract to keep you at a club until 2014 if you want to leave the next year fucktard.

"I like Valencia as a club, dont get me wrong, but this two lads deserve tO win some medals and ManUnited is the write place for such a stuff. C,mon Villa and Silva, be smart and come to EUROPIAN CAPITAL OF TROPHYS"

Firstly, learn to fucking spell. Secondly, it's not that long ago Valencia were winning things. Thirdly, they're in it for the FOOTBALL not the money and trophies (though I'm sure the latter would be nice...) so they're not going to drop their morals for some shiny things.

"to all the loserfool fans who are sayin dream on mancs and stuff money isnt the only criteria good 4 u coz ur bankrupt in necase u need to sell players to buy so for those 2 to come u will have to sell gerrard and torres ha ha but ur forgtn 1 thing silva himself said he wants to join manutd!!!!!!!"

Silva said no such thing, asshole. He said he was flattered a club like Man Utd was interested in him. Doesn't quite translate into the same thing. Also, both guys have said they'd prefer to stay in Spain if they have to leave Valencia. Manchester is not in Spain. And I'm no idiot, I realise Liverpool isn't either. However, it's a damn sight closer than you're ever going to be.

"silva is the best with no doubt but villa is 28 and is not worth it,i guess aguero is the best option"

Just...LMAO at this entire statement. Being 28 (and he's actually still 27 buttwipe, get your facts right) does not mean you're not a good enough player. Dahveed Veeyah is currently one of the best strikers in the world, he has a phenomenal strike record and every single team wants him leading their front line. You only don't think he's worth it because you know you've got no chance of getting him. Reality bites.

"Look at all MU haters...hahah. No..No that can't be true. hahah. You scared? of course you are. You thought SAF was just going to sit on all that money. You know big signings were coming and yeah Chealse don't get your hopes up for the title. I believe the deal will be made for around 50 mil. Valencia is hurting and they don't want to sell to their competitors RM and Barca. Glory Glory..."

THIS is the exact reason I have an intense dislike of most Man Utd fans. Glory hunters are not proper football fans. Fact. There's not going to be a deal for £50mil because Valencia aren't stupid. They know how important these two are to the team. Secondly, I'm sure they'd rather sell to someone who will give a lot more money seeing as they're in 'dire financial straits'. Besides, RM and Barca, not exactly direct competition for Valencia right now. Try Sevilla, Villareal, Atletico etc...

"Thats what they are worth, what have they done in their careers? Won euro 08 and thats all, no c.l. or the competition in spain. They are not worth anything, besides villa now is 27. Valencia rejected 47 € from barca because the teams are in the same competition, u dont want to sell a player to your rivals, that would be bussines that hurts yourself, u cant compansate that with money... pep didnt fire eto because he is black either im sick of that"

They are not worth anything? I'm not even going to justify that with a response. Their pinky nails are worth more than all of you could ever dream of being asshole. Veeyah's one of the best strikers in the world. And just look at Valencia's creativity drop when Silva's not on the pitch. Now tell me they're not worth anything. It's not all about the winning all the time, you know.

There were some intelligent comments though. Lookie here:
"You manure fans can go ahead and feel happy at thinking that valencia will be a feeder club to you. Valencia are becoming a big club again. GO find your own damm talent."

"Valencia are 600 mill in debt,they sell villa and silva who they can get for what 70 mill at best? the debt will be around 500 and then what? You think people running valencia are stupid? The new stadium is building, CL qualification is certain this year, money from CL and new stadium will be flowing in and they will be fine. Selling villa and silva to finance debt and then how will goals score??? Manure fans think people running valencia are stupid."

And THIS? Best. Comment. Ever.
"Definitely true after all Valencia rejected a 50m Euro bid for Villa from Real Madrid over the summer. It only makes sense that they'd drop their price mid-season and throw their second best player into the deal as a sweetener. Wonderful, informative and above all responsible sports journalism."

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LMAO

What is this bullshit?! No, really. What is it?

I don't even think I've got the energy to go into all the reasons this would be the WORST move in history. But I'll do it anyway. Hey, someone might read this, see I make sense and stop writing this crap every two weeks.

• Dahveed Veeyah has said time and time again, he wants to stay in Spain. I know us Liverpool fans like to think we're in Spain because of our large Spanish contingent, but I promise you, Liverpool is in England. Therefore outside his requested zone and making this transfer highly unlikely.
• The stingy American bastards that currently own Liverpool giving up €49 mil for a striker who is currently at his peak and probably won't play at this level for more than 2/3 years after this...yeah, not happening. Actually, the likelihood of them giving up €49mil for anybody is pretty damn low.
• Veeyah and Torres can't play together on a regular basis. They're both strikers that play better when they're up front alone, so playing together, one of the two would have to play off the main striker. And that's kind of Steven Gerrard's current position. While he's versatile enough to play wherever the manager tells him, just off the striker is probably his best position.
• Neither Veeyah or Torres would be happy with being a benchwarmer, so alternating them would kind of fail. If you have unhappy strikers, they don't perform and it would kind of be a waste of a total of €70mil or however much the two of them added up to.
  
• The EPL is so far from Veeyah's style of football, it's unreal. There's no way he'd be as successful as everybody thinks he'd be if he were to move to Liverpool. He does well in La Liga because he can play his way without getting seven shades of shit kicked out of him because he's too good and they can't handle him.
• Liverpool may well be able to afford buying him, but realistically, they're not going to keep up his wages etc for however long his contract would be. And you'd better believe that if he stops performing, they're not going to want to be paying him obscene amounts of money each week.
• Veeyah has signed with Valencia until 2014. And his buyout clause is some crazy shit. Liverpool cannot pay that. Nobody can. Except maybe Man City or Real Madrid, who can seemingly pay anything.
• And on top of all this, Veeyah has been leaving Valencia for the past 4 transfer windows at least if we're to believe what newspaper reports tell us. He's still there. That kind of says more than I could. End of discussion, case closed.
  

Now please, can we stop with the lolz? As much as I appreciate you people writing articles that make me giggle, it gets kind of old when you hear it week in, week out.

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AHAHAHA!

Seriously?? I have been laughing non stop about this since I got the google alert this morning. The mere notion of it is just...no. Seriously, think about it. Dahveed has scored something like 19 goals for them already. He IS Valencia atm, when he's not on the pitch, they fail in a big way lately. Hell, they fail when he IS there sometimes, because one man alone cannot do the job of 10 others. But the thought of him leaving...do.not.want. I know that he's the main player that can bring in the money, and I get that. But come on, I think you need him a lot more than you need the money Valencia. Especially if you're going to consider bringing in Voronin as a replacement. I know that sounds like a stupid statement considering the extent of their debts, but honestly, there is only so much the money they're going to get from selling him is going to do. And when that's gone, it's the same old mess all over again, only this time, they don't have someone of his class to pull them into at least mid table mediocrity. I want them to stay true to what they've said and only sell if they absolutely HAVE to.

Liverpool. Please do not agree to this. I am counting on you. Rafa B, I know Valencia means something to you. Keep their hopes alive, please do not make them have to play with Voronin up front. He may be a good player, but he didn't work at Liverpool and I doubt he'll work at Valencia. Just sell him to Hertha, he seems to be doing ok for himself there. God, if this is what I have to put up with from now, it is going to be a long and painful summer. I think I might just hibernate it away.

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Well...

Well, that's ok Arjen. We hate you too, you diving, cheating, snivelling, pathetic excuse for a footballer. Seriously, I know babies that have better balance and don't fall over as often as you. That dive that got Pepe sent off...yeah, I still remember that.

Funnily enough, at no point in the article does he mention hating Liverpool, that's just the journalists twisting his words. But still, it's not a very nice thing to say. It's hardly their fault they were better than you and beat you twice.

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Gina can make gifs :D

I finally learnt how to make gifs, and I am really rather proud of myself. I am also a teeny bit obsessed with it right now. This is especially for VanillaBear ;)

The rest will follow soon I guess, I need to go revise for an exam on Monday.

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Erm...no

Do these people never stop? At first it was annoying. Then it was saddening. Now it's just sad. Seriously, he's not leaving, that's what a contract until 2014 says. It would have to be a mammoth offer for him to actually leave, because erm...buyout clauses are a bitch. His is something like £125million worth of bitch. Just give it up already.

Also, this makes me giggle. I demand a lot of things, doesn't mean I get them. Valencia would have to be seriously shitting themselves over the financial situ to even consider letting either of these two leave.

Let me reiterate this point for those idiots in other clubs that don't quite seem to have this hammered into their heads. The Davids are not leaving. I don't want them to. They don't want to. Valencia don't want them to. Their contracts make it pretty darn difficult. That's a lot of negatives fighting against the positive of clubs like Man City who don't seem to understand the meaning of the word 'no'. Here it is for them: "no (NEGATIVE ANSWER) adverb - used to give negative answers". Now back the fuck off.

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Lolz

Just as a reward if you actually made it through the epic end of year post, have a pic of Dahveed. Ok, well the pic is more for me as a reward for writing that end of year post, but you can all lol at it.

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Somebody call You've Been Framed!

Serious, get me a permanent slot on that show. I could single handedly keep it alive. It was all wet and icky today (let's face it, this is England) and I have to cross this underpass thingy to get to my platform at the station. You know what's coming, right? Yeah, here's me minding my own business and walking down this thing when all of a sudden I slipped and went sliding all the way down to the bottom on my arse. Embarassing much? Well, you'll be glad to know that other than a brusied ego, I'm fine.

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Just because

It makes me lol.

That is all.

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Just because

Cutest. Baby. Ever.

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