No shit sherlock

So, this is what Unai had to say about the game. Erm...really? You think so? I really wasn't going to blog about this because I didn't want to basically fill this blog up with curses, but right now, pretty much every curse in the world is coming to mind. Because seriously Emery, way to state the obvious. The stats speak for themselves. 8 yellows and a red. It is no wonder this referee was punished a few weeks ago for the farce that was the Real Madrid-Osasuna game. I am however completely clueless as to why he was even allowed back. He is clearly incapable of being any good. That's not just the bitter Valencia fan in me speaking. Although that part of me has a pretty big say in this entire post. Let's start with a card by card analysis, shall we?

Alexis got booked on 18 minutes. Honestly, I would have to be deluded to say he didn't deserve that yellow, because hello, ninja kicks and using other players as a climbing frame, while funny, is not cool. And really Lexie, you've just come back from injury. Was it necessary to try and put yourself back on the treatment table? That good are they? He lost the headband in that tackle though. And sadly for Valencia, got his 5th booking of the season, meaning that he gets the privelege of sitting the next game out through suspension. Oh joy!

Joaquin then got booked on 37 minutes. I don't even know what for. Maybe pointing out to the motherfucking idiot of a referee that actually, Dahveed was hurt and the ball should have been put out of play. Ok, so it wasn't a head injury, but he hurt his neck. Poor baby had whiplash and the idiot did nothing. So apparently, now it's perfectly ok to have players going around hitting other players, because everyone except Depor and the ref seemed to think Dahveed deserved a free kick for the foul on him that meant he had to leave the pitch. Obviously, the Valencia players are going to complain when you seemingly have a personal vendetta against them FFS. Knob. Depor were playing dirty the whole game, diving around and trying to get people in trouble. Correct me if I'm wrong, but diving in an attempt to con the referee is a bookable offence, right?

As if Joaquin's yellow wasn't confusing enough, Dahveed then got booked for coming back onto the pitch without the referee's permission. I mean WTF??? He was walking up the touchline waiting for the ref to let him back on, then some motherfucker from the Deportivo bench shoves him back onto the pitch. Of course, the referee didn't see that, he just saw Dahveed on the pitch and booked him. Which begs the question - is that not what the 4th official is there for? To tell the ref what goes down if he can't see it. But it did bring a hot moment. Hot meaning Dahveed said 'puta' and we all know how I feel about that word...
My commentators were talking about how short tempered he is. Hehe, so am I. See, more MFEO material :P

Yellow card #4 was shown to Silva on 41 minutes. 3 cards in as many minutes tells you all you need to know about the referee's ability to control a game properly. Now, my dad was convinced this was worthy of a yellow, and because I didn't see it, I assumed he was right. Then I saw the 'foul' in question and it was the most pathetic thing I have ever seen in my life. Two players jumping for the ball, Silva accidentally brushed the other guys back, he goes down like a sack of potatoes clutching his face. Yes, con artistry like this DOES exist and apparently, it works! Unless you play for Valencia. In which case, you actually DO get fouled and the ref gives nothing.

69 minutes in and yellow card #5 went to Baraja. I can't really complain too much about this, Baraja didn't get the ball but he got the man. Just barely, but it was enough to be a foul. Still, the fact that the guy that got fouled stumbled on about another 5 steps before proceeding to fall flat on his face didn't do him any good in my books. I mean, if you can stay on your feet for 5 steps, you can stay on your feet full stop.

Then, on 76 minutes came Dahveed's red. This just pushed me over the edge completely. I mean come on referee. He tried to pull out of the challenge. His leg was outstretched going in for the tackle, and the second he realised he wasn't going to win the ball, he pulled his leg back. He had every right to go for the ball. His bitchface was epic. He was all 'Seriously? You're gonna send me off for THAT?' And I agree comepletely. He was sprinting and lets face it, he's no slouch. It's not like he's going to put the brakes on and stop dead straight away. The Depor players acted disgustingly, all of them immediately crowded the referee to remind him Dahveed was on a yellow already. And as for the goalie. Grow a pair for fuck's sake. Rolling around like a sissy when there was barely any contact is not cool.

Cesar got booked next, for god knows what kind of fucked up reason. He didn't foul anyone. The referee just decided to hand out yellow cards for the hell of it apparently. What an idiot. The funniest thing in all this though...so far, 6 yellows and a red, and not a single one of these cards was shown to Marchena!

Not wanting to disappoint though, he got his obligatory yellow just a minute after Cesar got booked. Probably for protesting too much. Which again, leads me to the point that the referee needs to read up on the rules of football. As captain, he is ALLOWED to point out when the referee is being a knob and getting decisions badly wrong. Which he was for 99% of the game last night.

And then finally, we come to Michel's yellow card. This one was also deserved, because the tackle was late. So I make that 3 deserved cards out of...erm, I lost count. But it was a lot. And despite all the diving and general twatishness, Depor only had one player booked. I can think of at least 4 instances where they SHOULD have got yellows, and if you judged both teams equally, i.e. penalised Depor for the things Valencia were being called out on, the game would probably have been called off because there wouldn't have been enough players on the pitch.

Basically, the only thing that idiot referee got right in the entire game was ignoring his assistant flagging for offside for Dahveed's goal. Because really, the ball came from an opposition player. There's no such thing as offside when the opposition pass you the ball. Read up on it referees, it's useful stuff to know. At any rate, he just leapfrogged the entire list of people on my 'must hurt badly' list and took top spot. Unless somebody fucks up quite this royally in the next game I watch, I have the feeling he will be staying there for a veeeery long time.

I just have to give a special bit of attention to Depor's equalising goal because seriously, that was the most motherfucking pathetic goal I have ever seen in my life. The defending was awful. That is all.

Sorry about this whole ranting post, I just felt the need to get all of this off my chest, because they say that keeping things inside doesn't help you. I thought I'd feel better after it, but I really don't. Fact of the matter is, this was a game Valencia NEEDED to win, but their defensive frailties showed through again, and they were pretty lucky to escape with a draw after the sending off. Cesar was totally my man of the match. Without him, that would totally have been a loss.