Blog Challenge #9: Baller adventures

THE RULES:
You have to choose one baller to do each of the following activities with.
You can't choose the same baller for more than two answers.
You have to explain your reasons behind each answer.
Bonus lolz for being specific with certain questions!

Who would you choose to...

1) Go backpacking across Europe with
Ok, well I've been backpacking (sort of) in Bulgaria and it's actually kind of fun. Except the walking in a field full of grasshoppers part...so I would pick Fernando Llorente. He's tall enough for me to be able to jump on his back and be far enough off the ground to avoid any other icky creatures.

2) Teach you their language
Well, it has to be someone Spanish, because that's the language I want to learn the most. Vicente sounds the best, but he talks too fast, I would not learn anything. I'd say that Nando could teach me Spanish. I'd pay attention to what he was saying because I dont see him in that way.

3) Go on Who Wants To Be A Millionaire with
Niko. He's clever, he can take the political questions, I'll take the legal shit and we can split the general knowledge for the most part.

4) Bake a chocolate carrot cake with
Albiol, he knows how to cook so it would be good cake. Though I can't promise there would be anything remotely chocolately about it. Other uses may be found...

5) Get drunk and sing karaoke with
Stevie. I wish I could find the video of him drunk and doing karaoke just to prove my point. And they WOULD have whatever damn song we told them to have for our duet.

6) Go on an extreme sports holiday with
Alexis looks like he'd be a fun guy to go on an extreme sports holiday with. I bet he'll turn out to be a total sissy, but those tattoos alone are enough reason for me to pick him. If I get scared, I can just make him take his shirt off and stare at them. He also looks like he'd be strong enough to carry me home when I inevitably fall and hurt myself.

7) Raise money for underprivileged kids with
Iker, because he's done it already. People know him, they trust him and it would be all too easy.

8) Marry and have lots of sex and babies with
Well, obviously it would be Vicente. Because he would totally make the cutest babies in the world. And you know, he's not playing much these days. It means he'll have plenty of energy to burn.

9) Play an embarrassingly tabloid-worthy prank on
Gattuso. Because this reaction pwns all others, you can guarantee to make the tabloids when he goes psycho.

10) Have a short but wholly satisfying sordid affair with
Dahveed. I don't know if I could deal with being bitchfaced for the rest of my life, but I could take a few weeks/months of it. And the excitement of being caught by the rest of the Valencia boys and word getting back to the hubby would make it all the more exciting.

11) Go to a fancy dress event with
Crouchie. He can be my penguin. I like penguins. He always has the coolest costumes and you can guarantee we would win first prize for best dressed pair...

12) Have a drunken hook up that you may regret with
Probably Xavi. Though if I'm honest, I'd probably regret the fact that it's not a Valencia boy more than the fact I'd regret it was Xavi. And can you imagine how bad I'd feel waking up the next morning next to a guy that's shorter than me.

13) Go ballroom dancing with
Raul. He's handsome, looks good in a suit and definitely looks like he could show me a thing or two on the dancefloor.

14) Pull off an Ocean's Eleven style heist with
Any one of the Valencia boys would totally work here, but I'm going to go with Albiol. Because he's totally ninja.


15) Go on a secret mission with
Erm, I would say Dahveed. Because he is totally BA and the secret mission would totally be secret forever. He'd just bitchface anyone who tried to get any information out of him.